Here’s Why Bulrog Is the Most Powerful Kid in ‘South Park’

In a TV universe occupied by Cthulhu, God, Satan, The Super Best Friends, ManBearPig and Brian Boitano, the most overpowering South Park character is somehow just Cartman with self-imposed plot armor.

Trey Parker and Matt Stone have a lot of fun blurring the lines between imagination and reality on South Park, which is profoundly fitting for a show about a bunch of 10-year-olds who somehow found themselves at the center of every major world event over the past 27 years. The many super hero (and super villain) alter egos of the South Park kids are entire characters within their own right — even if Mintberry Crunch is the only one whose powers extend past playtime. However, the line between reality and superpowered silliness was never more pronounced than in “Good Times With Weapons,” when the core four South Park kids return from the Park County Fair bearing ninja arms. Sorry, Professor Chaos.

Over in the South Park subreddit, a recent thread challenged fans to choose which South Park kid (or, rather, which South Park kid’s pretend persona) is the most powerful, with the obvious winner being the ninja whose powers are self-appointed, limitless and entirely hilarious.

As his ninja alter-ego Bulrog, Cartman wields twin Sai à la Raphael in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as well as a burning hatred for hippies. When the boys first assign themselves ninja powers, Cartma claims the power of invisibility. However, that was, apparently, only the first of Bulrog's abilities as he added on additional powers with each passing anime scene, including the ability to see the future better than Kyle’s Bunraku. Bulrog has lots and lots of powers, and Cartman seemingly remembers a new one every single time he finds himself in a bind.

Given his elasticity, Bulrog would easily beat any South Park superhero in a fight, and he would absolutely trounce any other character from outside the canon unless they somehow had the ability to take away Cartman’s imagination. That said, Bulrog’s powers were never put to the ultimate ninja test laid out in “Good Times With Weapons.” Let’s see how well he handles taking one of Kenny's ninja stars to the eye before we crown him as the GOAT.