15 Batshit Crazy, Old-Timey Magazine Ads Featuring Comedy Royalty

Nothing’s funnier than the idea of booze and cigarettes being good for your health

Back in the day, everyone did magazine ads, from Hollywood’s biggest stars to future presidents of the United States. In fact, here are 13 legendary comedians in 15 not-as-legendary-magazine-ad-campaigns who were happy to lend their image out for a few bucks…

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Jack Benny for Lucky Strike Cigarettes

How did Jack Benny maintain his youthful, 39-year-old appearance? Lucky Strike cigarettes, naturally.

Redd Foxx for Teacher’s Scotch Whisky

Fans of Sanford & Son might expect Redd Foxx to promote Ripple, but no, he did an ad for Teacher’s Scotch Whisky instead.

George Burns, Also for Teacher’s Scotch Whisky

George Burns lived to be 100, and he never gave up cigars or booze. He also starred in a series of movies where he played God. If this isn’t proof that God has a warped sense of humor, I don’t know what is.

Dick Van Dyke for Kodak

Dick Van Dyke was the spokesman for Kodak for years. In one of the ads above, he’s promoting a camera with a handle on the side, and everyone is acting like it’s some sort of revelation. The camera’s name was even “The Handle” — these were simpler times.

Lucille Ball for Chesterfield Cigarettes

For the latter portion of Lucille Ball’s career, her voice sounded like Wolfman Jack. It’s pretty safe to say that her affinity for Chesterfield cigarettes, which she was happy to shill for, were to blame.

Don Rickles for National Car Rental

Don Rickles did a number of ads in both print and on TV for National Car Rental. He specifically requested only foreign cars so that he could have more opportunities for jokes.

Carol Burnett for Blackglama

Here’s Carol Burnett dancing in a Blackglama mink coat. Burnett asked for the head of the mink to be removed, lest she be tugging on its ears all the time. 

Groucho Marx for Skippy Peanut Butter

Skippy, apparently, helps with toothaches.

Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon for Smirnoff Vodka

Ed McMahon sometimes got a reputation for being a heavy drinker, and by how haggard he looks in this picture, it’s not difficult to see why.

Kermit the Frog for Ford

Can Kermit even reach the pedals on a Ford Escape?

Gilda Radner for CREEM T-Shirts

CREEM was a rock music magazine that ran from 1969 to 1989. During the 1980s, they got Saturday Night Live star Gilda Radner to advertise their T-shirts. Too bad the campaign was undercut by Radner wearing a flattened pillow on her head.

Laurel and Hardy for Old Gold Cigarettes

Both Laurel and Hardy were heavy smokers. Here they are guessing which one would die first. Spoiler alert: It would be Hardy.

Groucho Marx for Smirnoff Vodka

The secret word is “paycheck.”

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