The Most Ridiculous Pieces of Medical Advice from ‘The Simpsons’

Fans choose the most hilariously hazardous health advice in ‘Simpsons’ history

No three words scream “medical malpractice” quite like “Hi, Dr. Nick!”

The Simpsons isnt known for its positive representations of public health. Springfield, (Simpsons State) is, occasionally,  known as “The Worlds Fattest Town,” and the shows primary protagonist certainly lives up to his hometown. Besides the obvious health risks associated with obesity, Homer's profession, hobbies and home life regularly put him in extraordinarily unhealthy situations, making him one of the many medical miracles in the Simpsons universe that have doctors asking questions like, “How the hell is Montgomery Burns still alive?” 

For those of us living in the real world, where radiation does more than make three-eyed fish and tire fires arent so much town quirks as they are emphysema dispensaries, the health advice given on The Simpsons by doctors and non-doctors alike (though there really isnt much of a difference) in Springfield would almost always prove fatal, or, at the very least, incredibly fattening. The Simpsons subreddit recently listed the “best” pieces of medical advice in the shows history, and here are their picks, straight from Hollywood Upstairs Medical College…

A Spoonful of Slurry Will Cure What Ails Ya
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Now, Go Limp…

When You Concentrate Food, You Unleash Its Awesome Power

You Doctors Have Been Telling Us to Drink Eight Glasses of Gravy A Day!

“You Got Any of Those Potato Chips That Give You Diarrhea? I Gotta Do A Little Spring Cleaning”

Put Some Listers Carbolic Unguent on a Wad of Cotton. Put the Cotton in Her Ear. Thatll Stop Them Shakes

If Its Brown, Drink It Down. If Its Black, Send It Back!

If The Paper Turns Clear, Its Your Window to Weight Gain!

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