7 Brutal Rudy Giuliani Burns from ‘The Daily Show’
In the Justice Department’s recent indictment of Donald Trump, six anonymous co-conspirators were alleged to have assisted Trump “in his criminal efforts to overturn the legitimate results of the 2020 presidential election and retain power.” Even though no names were named, outlets like The Washington Post wasted no time in identifying Rudy Giuliani as one of the likely ringleaders of the conspiracy. To celebrate, The Daily Show’s YouTube channel assembled a video featuring Trevor Noah roasting Giuliani for 13 minutes straight.
Here are some of our favorite burns of America’s Disgraced Mayor…
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Comedy Partners
After Giuliani’s Infamous Four Seasons (Landscaping) Press Conference
“Come on, how is this real? How are you going to hold a press conference at a landscaping warehouse between a crematorium and a sex toy store? I mean, as a general rule, if you're ever declaring war, you don’t want to do it 20 feet from a dildo.”
Comedy Partners
“In some ways, it makes sense because if you ask people what’s halfway between a pawn shop and a crematorium, they’d probably say ‘Rudy Giuliani.’”
Comedy Partners
After an Unusually Sweaty Giuliani Press Conference About Absentee Ballots
“I know that this could be the end of American democracy, but guys, this is hilarious. Trump always said that he had leakers in his administration, but I didn't know it was this bad. What the hell was going on with Rudy? Honest question: Was his hair dye dripping? Was his brain shitting itself? Honestly, I didn’t even know that sideburns got periods. You know your legal strategy is (bleep)ed up when even your hair starts crying about it.”
Comedy Partners
After His ‘Masked Singer’ Unveiling
“Rudy Giuliani just got voted off The Masked Singer, which means he’s about to spend the next five years claiming that he actually won The Masked Singer. I guess history was made last night because for the first time in The Masked Singer’s history, a contestant took off their mask and everyone was like, ‘No, no, put it back on! Put it back on!’”
Comedy Partners
“It’s also weird how Rudy has the time to be on a game show, but he’s too busy to testify in front of Congress. Maybe Congress should have just made it seem like it was The Masked Singer, pop him in the giant costume and then sit him in front of the committee. That’s the game show America needs. Bernie Sanders would be sitting there like, ‘Based on his other disregard for democracy, I’m gonna guess the rooster is Rudy Giuliani.’”
Comedy Partners
After a Drunk Giuliani Gave Advice to Trump
“According to a former Trump aide, Rudy Giuliani was wasted on election night when he told Trump that the election was stolen from him. I’m curious about how you even know when Rudy Giuliani is drunk. When a normal person is drunk, they say crazy things. They yell. They sweat a lot. So how does that work with Rudy? Does it work in reverse? Does he start talking normally? His hair dye sucks back into his hair? How does this work?”
Comedy Partners
After Giuliani Got Slapped on the Back and Called It Second-Degree Assault
“That’s how tough New York’s laws are. Third-degree is if you lightly blow on someone’s ear and first-degree is if you boop them on the nose. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think it is right for anyone to be putting their hands on politicians or anyone for that matter without their consent right. But no way in hell is that second-degree assault. If that’s assault, then I guess Will Smith murdered Chris Rock.”
