5 Genetic Mutations That Will Make You Hotter
We’ve been trained to think that the word “mutation” directly corresponds to the creation of a new superhero. It conjures up thoughts of eye lasers and pyrokinesis, or, on the noticeably more negative end, some sort of pitiable frog-like creature. In reality though, mutations are pretty much constant and unavoidable, and most of the time don’t result in a drop in the crime rate.
Click right here to get the best of Cracked sent to your inbox.
Don't Miss
In fact, a lot of mutations are positive, and the modern human race is the product of hundreds of thousands of years’ worth of them. We’re basically an amalgamation of advantageous mutations, so maybe give people with webbed feet a break. Some mutations, though, aren’t just beneficial, but straight-up attractive. Kind of a reverse Hills Have Eyes situation. Such as…
A Cleft Chin
That central feature of a classic leading man’s jawline, the cleft chin, is actually the result of a genetic mutation. That dashing dimple that gives you those charming Clark Kent vibes comes from the result of a failure in bone fusion during fetal development. If a doctor walked into a room and informed you that the two halves of your baby-to-be’s jaw hadn’t connected correctly, you’d probably think that you’re getting ready for an arduous, life-changing journey. Instead, he’s basically telling you that your baby is going to be handsome as shit.
The eyes are a big part of someone’s overall attractiveness, given that they’re a pretty central part of your face. They’re also the things you’re supposed to look at while you’re talking to someone, according to people with less social anxiety than me. So it’s a given that when you’re looking for a soulmate, you’d want to choose one with cool orbs to stare at while you figure out which one of you is going to the PTA meeting.
A mutation known as heterochromia can make every bit of eye contact exotic, with two distinct eye colors to examine versus the traditional one. Luckily for those affected, if you have congenital heterochromia, there’s really no downside or negative effects, outside of everyone at every party wanting to talk to you. Native Americans believed that someone with heterochromia could see into both the real and spirit worlds at the same time, and called them “Ghost Eyes,” which is completely and undeniably badass.
Distichiasis
As a straight man, I think about my eyelashes basically once every three years when one pokes me in the eye. Eyelash length and lift and luxury are massively important to a huge amount of people, though, as evidenced by the size of the makeup industry built around them. There’s even medication to grow eyelashes longer, with a terrifying list of side effects that I cannot truly believe are worth it.
If you have distichiasis, however, you won’t be left wanting in the lash department. You’ll have thick, alluring eyelashes with none of the Sephora charges on your credit card. Distichiasis is also known as “double eyelashes,” a nickname that does a remarkably good job of explaining what’s going on. Basically, someone with distichiasis develops a partial or full second row of eyelashes. If you want evidence of just how stunning this particular mutation can be, you just need to pop on the work of Elizabeth Taylor, whose famous lashes were doubled in this particular way.
Waardenburg Syndrome
So far, all the mutations have been pretty harmless and win-win. Waardenburg Syndrome is, well, not that. Although one of its main outward features is gorgeous, pale blue eyes that feel destined for an award-winning National Geographic photo, the syndrome can have much worse effects. It can vary widely in severity, and can cause congenital hearing loss, which is a high price to pay for some stunning baby blues. If you get lucky, though, you can pick up a very light case that gives you all the ocular aplomb without the downsides.
That Lady with Three Boobs in ‘Total Recall’
YouTube/TriStar
Hummina hummina!
