Bender’s Five Biggest Heists on ‘Futurama’
From the moment we meet Bender on Futurama, he’s pulling a scam. With a quarter tied to a string, he steps into a suicide booth — a phone booth-sized death machine in the year 3000 — drops the quarter into the slot and pulls it back out with the string. Even with his death imminent, Bender can’t help but pull a fast one.
For Futurama’s next eight seasons and oh-so-many cancellations, Bender never stopped staging such heists. Below are the five biggest he actually got away with…
Everything of Value from Robot House
The Episode: “Mars University,” Season 1, Episode 11
The Scam: Burglarizing Robot House, a frat house at Mars University
The Haul: In an Animal House parody, Bender becomes big man on campus at Mars University. But in the wrap-up at the end, where captions explain what happens later on, it says that Bender “stole everything of value from Robot House and ran off.”
Pennies, Ex-Husbands and Assorted Other Elderly Goods from an Old Lady
The Episode: “Xmas Story,” Season 2, Episode 4
The Scam: Teaching some homeless robots how to steal from an old woman on Xmas
The Haul: To the tune of “The 12 Days of Christmas,” Bender reveals that he got the following:
On the fourth day of Xmas I stole from that lady
Four family photos
Three jars of pennies
Two former husbands
And a slipper on a shoe tree
He also appears to have taken her purse, but perhaps that didn’t rhyme as nicely.
The Top Two Oktoberfest Sausage Kompetition Trophies
The Episode: “Fun on a Bun,” Season 7, Episode 8
The Scam: Win the Oktoberfest Sausage Kompetition — by any means necessary
The Haul: In the future, Oktoberfest is the most high-class, dignified social event there is, and Bender wants to make his mark by winning the prestigious Sausage Kompetition. His mammoth sausages come in third place before the festivities are overrun by neanderthals riding mammoths. During the craziness of the stampede, Bender snags the second place trophy (and sash) and eventually gets his hand on the first place trophy as well by throwing its owner down an icy slope.
Le Grand Cigar
The Episode: “Three Hundred Big Boys,” Season 4, Episode 16
The Scam: “Grand Theft Tobacco” from Hacking Jack’s Fine Smokables
The Haul: Wrapped in a piece of the original U.S. Constitution, “Le Grand Cigar” is a $10,000 cigar hand-rolled by Queen Elizabeth II “during her wild years” and was buried with George Burns until it was recovered by grave-robbing space mushrooms. Bender snags it to blow the smoke in the faces of rich big shots.
All of Cyclopia’s Valuables
The Episode: “A Bicyclops Built for Two,” Season 2, Episode 9
The Scam: Looting an entire planet
The Haul: When visiting Leela’s supposed home planet, Bender robs the place blind, getting away with a whole sackful — and body-cavityful — of gold and valuable gems. He steals so much stuff that he tells Fry, “For the first time in my life, I feel like I’ve stolen enough,” which is about the most un-Bender-like thing he says in the entire series.
Thankfully, Fry slaps Bender, and he quickly comes to his senses and resumes his thievery. Good ol’ Bender.
