The Funniest Tiffany Haddish Jokes and Moments for the Comedy Hall of Fame
Tiffany Haddish’s humor comes from a natural place. As a result, you can drop her in front of a movie camera and let her run wild or put her on stage to sort out the funny details of her real life — with her 2021 Grammy win for Best Comedy Album for Black Mitzvah putting her halfway to an EGOT (she won an Emmy for hosting Saturday Night Live). Calling upon endless reserves of energy and earnestness, by sheer force of will and skill, Haddish has become one of the premier voices in comedy. And with no sign of slowing down, we wanted to induct our favorite Haddish jokes and moments in our Comedy Hall of Fame...
‘The Last O.G.’
Haddish played Shannon, Tracy Morgan’s ex-girlfriend and mother of his kids, during the sitcom’s first three seasons, perfectly playing off of Morgan’s comedic energy.
On Bad Influences
“Anybody got that one friend that can motivate you to do shit you ain’t got no damn business doing? That friend that can make you move into doing things you know you’re gonna go to jail for? You ever see that movie Pinocchio? Pinocchio was trying to go to school. He was trying to be a good boy, and his friend came in, saying, ‘Let’s go have fun; let’s go do something cool.’ He’s like, ‘Yeah, we go!’ And they turned into fucking donkeys. They turned into jackasses.”
‘The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part’
In the follow-up to the surprisingly well-received Lego Movie, Haddish voiced Queen Watevra Wa’Nabi, the definitely not evil shape-shifting ruler of the Systar System.
‘Saturday Night Live’
Lorne Michaels giving Haddish a turn at SNL hosting duties was a no-brainer. And she killed it, earning the aforementioned Emmy for Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series.
‘Tuca and Bertie’
The underappreciated animated series was an excellent showcase for Haddish to flex her vocal work. She gave life to one-half of the titular pair, Tuca the toucan, before Netflix unceremoniously axed the series after its first season. Luckily, we got two more seasons thanks to a revival on Adult Swim.
On Grandmotherly Advice
“My grandma told me that, as a woman, I gotta think of myself as a house. I’ll never forget: It was my 18th birthday, and she pulled me to the side and said, ‘Look here, baby girl, now that you’re a woman, I want you to think of yourself as a house. And there’s one thing you got to remember: Every man wants to come inside your house, but you can’t be having all kinds of men going in and out of your house all the time. Because they bring your property value low. You don’t wanna mess around and be known as the crack house, and you don’t want to be the crack house.
“So, you want to keep the grass cut and keep it clean because you don’t want people walking by thinking you got an abandoned house. And you don’t want to go out late at night getting drunk and stuff cause somebody will break into your house right through the back door, and that’ll have you walking messed up the next day talking to the police.”
‘The Afterparty’
Part of the current crop of comedic whodunits, Haddish navigates through the BS to reveal the truth behind a high school reunion gone wrong as Detective Danner. Perfect time to catch up as Season Two is dropping soon on AppleTV+.
‘The Oath’
In a pitch-black social satire, the president has asked all Americans to sign an oath of allegiance to America by Black Friday, causing one family’s Thanksgiving to go entirely off the rails.
On Infidelity
“I’ll never forget it was 12:32 a.m. because that was my third psychotic break. We were in my little Corvette, rolling. I let him drive so I could feel just like Rihanna, ‘Yessss!’ He had his phone in the console — 12:32 a.m., the phone go off; I look over, and the text message just say, ‘Eva: Why you be lying?’ In my head, I’m like, ‘Who the fuck is Eva?’”
Her First Television Performance
Haddish’s debut on Bill Bellamy’s Who’s Got Jokes? back in 2006 had all the early signs of what would make her a star.
On Consent
“We have also been talking about the sexual harassment stuff that’s been going on. Here’s a tip from Tiffany for all the men out there: If your thing is out, and she got all her clothes on, you’re wrong. You are in the wrong! Wait until she takes her own clothes off. Then pull your thing out.”
On Scientology
Haddish revealed to David Letterman how her experience with homelessness led to her trying to join the Church of Scientology.
On Bullying
“This bitch Keyosha found out I was in the system. She didn’t want to let me play. Coming up to play tetherball, she was like, ‘Uh-uh, Tiffany. Only people with mamas and daddies can play.’ Bitch, we don’t even know if that’s your real daddy. How you gonna do me? Just ‘cause you 15 and in the 6th grade don’t mean you get to run the playground, Keyosha! She wouldn’t let me play, though. Three weeks of her bullying me, three weeks of her telling me I can’t play, three weeks of her punkin’ me, and I couldn’t take it no more. I fuckin’ lost it. I needed to play tetherball…”
‘Girls Trip’
The breakout role.
