15 Tracy Morgan Jokes and Moments for the Hall of Fame
For the past 30 years, there are two things you can always count on if Tracy Morgan is in the thing you’re watching: 1) things are definitely gonna get crazy; and 2) you are going to laugh.
From his breakout stint on Saturday Night Live, to seven seasons of 30 Rock, to four seasons on The Last OG, to film roles where even if the film itself isn’t that great (cough, cough, Cop Out), Morgan shines, and he continues to keep the laughter coming.
He was even fantastic on PBS(!) presenting for Eddie Murphy’s Mark Twain award.
As such, today, we induct 15 of his funniest jokes and moments into the Hall of Fame.
On His Drug Addict Aunt
“My aunt was a crackhead. I remember one Christmas, she bought me a Game Boy when I was like 12 years old. She bought it for me, and then she stole it. Then, she helped me look for it. I was so heated, I was like, ‘Why did you steal my Game Boy and help me look for it?’ She said, ‘I had to eliminate myself as a suspect!’”
On Recovering from His Accident
“I suffered some terrible injuries — traumatic brain injury, broke every bone in my face, my ribs, I pulverized my femur. And through all that, I asked my doctor, ‘Is my dick okay? I don’t need no thighbone, motherfucker, I need my dick.’
“That would be horrible if you came out of a coma and your doctor be like, ‘Mr. Morgan your penis was severed.’
“I’m like, ‘We’ll, I’m goin’ back in this coma, motherfucker. Kill me, motherfucker, the fuck am I doing alive? I’m suing everybody. The hospital, the doctors, especially my wife, cause she always called me a dickless son of a bitch.’”
On the Incredible Hulk
“That’s the white rage. That’s where the Incredible Hulk came from. Because he ain’t no superhero. Batman is a superhero — he gotta belt; he could do shit. Superman can fly, stop bullets — that’s a superhero. The Incredible Hulk ain’t no superhero, he’s just a drunk white dude in a bar. Incredible Hulk couldn’t have been Black, because Black people are just too sensitive. We’re too sensitive for shit. This motherfucker’d be turning green over every little thing.
“‘Hey Batman, what’s today’s numbers?’
“‘One-five-five.’
“‘ROAR! HULK NUMBER NOT COME OUT! HULK FUCK UP THE ILLEGAL GAMBLING SPOT!’
“He gets mail from child support: ‘ROAR! THAT NOT HULK BABY! HULK TAKE BLOOD TEST ON MAURY POVICH!’”
His First TV Gig
Uptown Comedy Club was a sketch series that ran for just two seasons in syndication from 1992 to 1994. Morgan’s work on it landed him a recurring role on Martin, which helped get him cast on SNL. Clips from Uptown Comedy Club are available all over YouTube. For our money, “The Yo Mama Battles” were the best part of the show. In them, Morgan bested future Oscar winner Mo’Nique, but lost to Carlos Mencia.
Saturday Night Live
When Lorne Michaels casted a new player for SNL’s 21st season, it came down to two finalists: Tracy Morgan and Stephen Colbert. Obviously, Michaels made the right call. Morgan was part of the cast that helped bring SNL back from its mid-1990s ratings slump, and while it’s hard to pick just one favorite Morgan sketch or character, we’re gonna go with Brian Fellow’s Safari Planet.
Def Comedy Jam
It takes a strong stage presence to be able to stand on said stage and roast members of the audience while wearing a propeller hat, but Morgan, in his lone Def Comedy Jam appearance, definitely pulled it off.
Every One of His 30 Rock Scenes
Playing the unpredictable and uncontrollable star of the show-within-the-show TGS, Morgan was given the perfect playground on 30 Rock to be as crazy as he possibly could. Every time he’s on screen, you never know what you’re gonna get — but you’re gonna be quoting his lines every chance you get.
On Understanding Overweight People
On Getting Older
“You gotta grow the f--k up! You can’t keep doing the shit you were doing when you were 18. I was watching Couples Therapy the other day. They had Flavor Flav on there. Flavor Flav is 62 years old. I ain’t calling no 62-year-old Flavor Flav. What is your real name, Derrick? And take that clock off, goddammit! He had his hat off to the side with reading glasses on. When you have reading glasses on, it’s time to turn the brim around to the front, and become a real Padres fan.”
On His Hero, Eddie Murphy
“Eddie is the first comedian to have five tools: He could do stand-up, he could do impressions, he could do characters, he could sing and he could act. And if that’s not enough, he looked damn good in that red leather suit. I admired Eddie Murphy so much, my first time on stage I wore a red leather suit. Actually, I couldn’t afford red leather. My suit was made of naugahyde — it don’t breathe at all. I almost passed out after a couple minutes on stage.”
On His First Time Back on Stage After His Accident
“I’m honored to be at the Emmys. I’ve already been honored to be here. It’s been a long road back. I suffered a traumatic brain injury that put me in a coma for eight days. When I finally regained consciousness, I was just ecstatic to learn that I wasn’t the one who messed up. Only recently I’ve started to feel like myself again, which means a whole lot of young women are gonna get pregnant at the after-party.”
On the Gold Medallion His Kids Bought for Him
“It says ‘Number One Dad.’ My kids bought it for me, and they used my money. They said it was the thought that counts, so I said, ‘You should’ve thought about buying something cheaper.”
On New Names
“The ghetto’s crazy. Motherf--kers don’t even have normal names no more. Ever since that Five Percenter religion came, motherf--kers change their names to names that don’t even fit their personality. Like I know a dude named Knowledge — don’t know shit! Motherf--ker named Universal — never left the neighborhood. I know one motherf--cker named Unique — has an identical twin brother.”
On Trying to Argue Over Text
On Opportunity
“They say when opportunity knocks you should let it in and invite it to sit at your table. F--k that! When opportunity knocks, you should take it captive. Beat that shit down. I’ve got opportunity tied to a chair in my basement with a ball gag in its mouth. Opportunity ain’t even thinking about leaving my house. If you keep quiet for a second, you’ll hear it whining.”
