Sorry, But Winnie-The-Pooh Was Already Creepy As Hell

Now that it’s in the public domain, A.A. Milne’s classic story Winnie-the-Pooh has become the basis for a grisly horror movie in which Pooh, Piglet and other denizens of the Hundred Acre Wood stalk and murder several unsuspecting teens. In case you thought it was all a joke, proof arrived this week in the form of a new trailer for the film, titled Winnie-The-Pooh: Blood And Honey. We would have preferred Last Heffalump on the Left, or Eeyore Next, but what can you do?

While this might seem shocking for those who grew up with the original characters, we’d argue that it’s not as subversive as it might seem. Why? Because the Pooh stories, and subsequent adaptations, have always been disturbing. Like, in the original book, Christopher Robin basically tortures Pooh for no reason. Not to mention that the early Disney films randomly threw nightmarish acid flashback musical numbers into the otherwise adorable mix probably because they invested heavily in the children’s therapy industry.

Then there was the late ‘80s TV series The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, which, as we’ve mentioned before, was full of surprisingly horrific tales of existential crises. There were also episodes that played as straight-up horror stories for kids, like the one in which Pooh and his friends travel to a surreal Hellscape that exists underneath Christopher Robin’s bed – and have to confront and kill a grotesque slime monster.

Or how about the episode where Christopher Robin and his toys stay up to watch a “slusher” movie on TV and get freaked out – yeah, Disney made a cartoon where Tigger convinces his friends to watch what we can only assume was Sleepaway Camp II.

Even Disney’s most recent Pooh movie, Christopher Robin, was no less upsetting, revealing that Pooh’s best friend abandoned his objectively sentient toys, essentially leaving them to rot and die in the woods because he went through puberty or something. 

So go ahead Blood and Honey, nothing will be more traumatizing than that. 

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Thumbnail: Premiere Entertainment/Disney

the Heffalump song is basically