Mickey Rourke Wants To Fight Elon Musk (For Johnny Depp's Honor)

Earlier this month, we asked, "Has anybody seen Mickey Rourke?" It truly was a mystery what in the hell Mickey Rourke has been up to, but now we finally have the answer to that question and that answer is challenging Elon Musk to a fight on Instagram:

Like his character in The Wrestler putting on tights, Mickey Rourke has successfully squeezed himself into an uncomfortable situation. Musk and Rourke couldn't be two more different people making the prospect of them fighting as bizarre is it is exciting. I know Musk bragged about his martial arts training on Rogan's podcast and has the age advantage, but Mickey possesses a type of crazy that Elon will only understand after having his face rubbed against the cage like it's parmesan. My money is on Rourke is what I'm saying, but no matter who you bet on, to explain how we got here, we have to first backtrack to Elon Musk and Jonny Depp's original beef.

You might have (Amber) heard about Johnny Depp's contentious divorce with Amber (Heard.) What you might not have known is that Elon Musk briefly dated Amber Heard shortly following her separation from Johnny Depp in 2017. However, last month, rumors circulated that Musk and Heard were having an affair while she was still with Johnny Depp and even that Musk, Heard, and actor/model Cara Delevigne had a threesome inside Johnny Depp's penthouse.

Elon Musk denies the affair occurring, but upon hearing that Depp wrote a text message about Elon saying, "I'll show him things he's never seen before like the other side of his d**k when I slice it off," Elon decided to challenge Depp to a cage match as one does.

So now we're back to Mickey Rourke, who stepped in to defend his friend, Depp. This isn't the first time Rourke has gone to bat for Depp. Rourke spoke out on behalf of Johnny Depp all the way back in 2016, referring to Depp as "not a violent guy" after the initial abuse allegations were levied against him. So it makes sense then that Rourke would take to the mat in the place of his allegedly non-violent friend, and that's how you end up with the divorce of two people, causing an entirely different set of seemingly unrelated people to potentially bare-knuckle brawl inside of a cage. Kramer vs. Kramer would have been even more interesting with an Ali vs. Frazier undercard.

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