What Your Playlist Actually Says About You
It's been 10 years since Apple launched the iPod, and with it, an entirely new way to listen to music. People can now carry their entire music collection in their pocket, and with sites like Last.fm and Spotify, the songs they listen to can be posted instantly to the social networking sites of their choosing. It's like the process of some music snob cornering you at a party to ask if you've heard of their third favorite German techno band has been completely automated and updated for the 21st century.
But what are you really sharing when you post your playlists online? You might be surprised to learn that you're revealing a lot more about yourself than you intended when you give people a song-by-song account of what you listen to.
For example ...
White People With Acoustic Covers of Hip-Hop:
What They Want People to Think:
They like it when an artist is able to put their own unique spin on a genre that's outside their comfort zone.
The Truth:
Even on a purely audio level, they find black people intimidating.
Single Men With John Mayer Songs
What They Want People to Think:
I have a sensitive side, too, ladies.
The Truth:
That's why I'll wait until the second chorus before asking, "What if we got a little more comfortable?"
People Whose Only Country Album Is Johnny Cash's Greatest Hits
What They Want People to Think:
They liked country before it got all poppy and commercial.
The Truth:
They wish Johnny Cash sounded a bit more like Joaquin Phoenix in real life.
Men With Katy Perry Songs
What They Want People to Think:
"I enjoy female pop hits."
The Truth:
"I boob female boobs tits."
Anybody Over 25 Years Old Who Listens to Skrillex
What They Want People to Think:
They're still hip and can appreciate new music.
The Truth:
They now understand what their parents were doing when they bought that "Pearl Jelly" CD.
Guys With a Whitney Houston Playlist
What They Want People to Think:
This is a man who knows how to love and appreciate a woman.
The Truth:
Everyone remembers he made a "crack is whack" joke about Whitney two days before her death. He's fooling no one.
Straight Guys With a Best of Broadway Channel
What They Want People to Think:
Talk about secure in his sexuality!
The Truth:
He is literally Hugh Jackman. This is not an exaggeration.
Recent College Grad Who Listens to John Williams
What They Want People to Think:
The cinema is his life.
The Truth:
His grandma is still waiting for his share of last month's rent. Pony up, Spielberg.
Young Dads Who Listen to Kanye West
What They Want People to Think:
"Excuse me, is you saying something? Uh-uh, you can't tell me nothing!"
The Truth:
Will use any opportunity to prove he still knows the words to "Informer." Which he learned by taping it off of MTV, then writing out the lyrics by hand.
Tweens With a Rolling Stones Channel
What They Want People to Think:
I bet this kid also has a Jimmy Hendricks station!
The Truth:
He does! It's spelled just like that!
