The 5 Greatest Accomplishments by Men With Stupid Names
Getting saddled with a ridiculous name is a terrible way to start life. On the bright side, dealing with the adversity of being laughed at literally every time your name is spoken can do a lot for your character. Just ask these people, who put their absurd names front and center on the campaign trail and still emerged victorious.
Young Boozer
We don't trust him on the "Young," but we'll take his word on the "Boozer."
Actually, it's Young Boozer III, which may indicate either a serious lack of parental judgment over multiple generations or a sad accuracy to the name, or possibly both. In 2010, he was elected state treasurer of Alabama, a state where a public official with fetal alcohol syndrome may actually pass unnoticed.
Govnor Teats
By attempting to name him "Governor," it's obvious that Ma and Pa Teats had high hopes for their son. Sadly, the misspelled result, "Govnor," would seem to have doomed him to a life of menial labor as a cockney chimney sweep. Defying the odds, he went on to become a successful lawyer and judge and served in the Washington State House of Representatives. Disappointingly, Teats never did become governor. He's best remembered today for the annual sailboat race in Tacoma (actually dedicated to his grandson of the same name). It's probably worth checking out, since we'd like to think that you can enter a boat named "Comptroller Tittynips" without anyone batting an eye.
Adolf Lu Hitler
The name of a Hitler, but the mustache of a Stalin. Dear Lord, we're doomed.
There are few names that arouse as much automatic, visceral disgust as that of last century's most reviled anti-Semite, Mel Gibson. Adolf Hitler is up there, too, so why would anyone actually name their child after him? As it turns out, in India the name "Hitler" is associated with strictness and discipline, rather than, you know, that whole worldwide slaughter thing. Adolf Lu Hitler Rangsa Marak, the Nationalist Congress Party legislator from India's northeastern state of Meghalaya, wears his name with pride and offers comforting words for the voting public: "Maybe my parents liked the name and hence christened me Hitler. I am happy with my name, although I don't have any dictatorial tendencies."
Tiny Kox
Tiny Kox, a member of the Dutch Senate, made recent headlines internationally for his vocal suspicions regarding the validity of Vladimir Putin's 2012 re-election and nearly exploded Twitter when his name started trending. Apparently the name "Tiny" is actually short for "Martinus," his real first name. Which means it must be a situation he has come to accept and embrace. And here we were complaining about the lack of transparency in government.
Dick Swett
Choosing to go by the nickname "Dick" is a dicey proposition under any circumstances, let alone when you also have a similarly suggestive last name, like "Johnson" or "Cheese." Dick Swett served as a U.S. congressman from 1991 to 1995 and later went on to serve as the ambassador to Denmark. Here he is at an Obama speech, showing why he's the president's second least favorite ambassador to come up in conversation.
E. Reid Ross does some other stuff at RealToyGun.com.
