21 Important Moments in History (That Were Sex-Fests)

It turns out history is loaded with freakier boning than anything the porn industry can churn out.
21 Important Moments in History (That Were Sex-Fests)

We like to think that history, for the most part, was populated by prudes who had sex through holes in their bedsheets. Sure, there was some kinky shit going on in Rome, but really it was all just stuffy people wearing uncomfortable dresses and monocles, being all philosophical and smart and shit. Right?

No, of course not. You shouldn't be so naive at this point. As you're about to find out, thanks to AuntieMeme and her filthy, filthy mind, history was loaded with more freaky boning than anything a porn director could conjure up.

THNK BIRTH COnTROL IS A modern Invention? DIAPHRAGMS AND OTHER BARRIER Devices HAVE Been AROUND snce Ancient EGYPT. And the ancient Romans used an her
in 1732, A SCOTTISH GENTLemen'S CLUB WAS PROBABLY ALL BAGPIPES And Smoking PIPeS. RUTHEP MAN A WITH oF TE Sur A MaID. BEGGAR WAY BE 1732. PIATTEE THE
YOU MIGHT THINK OF VIGTORIAnS AS RePReSSED And sexLeSs. ACTUALLY, VIGTORIAN-ERA WRITERS PRODucED TonS OF PORN. And we're not talking about romance nov
19TH-CENTURY DOGTORS TREATED A LOT OF women FOR HYSTERIA THEY'D TREAT IT BY GIVING THem A HANDIE. The symptoms of hysteria were moodiness, nervousne
YoU PROBABLY PICTURE women In THE LATE 1700s WeAring ORNATE, MODest GOwNS. IT WAS MORE LIKE A WET T-SHIRT CONTEST. Women in Paris called merveilleuse
YOU PROBABLY THINK OF PURITAnS AS beInG PRUDISHABOUT sex. UP TO A THIRD OF PURITAN women weRe PREGNANT AT THEIR WEDDINGS. And that enthusiasm for sex
yoU PROBABLY know SHAKESPEARE WROTE some ADULT humor. BUT YOU MIGHT HAVE missed THE GWORD. In Twelfth Night, Malvolio says, these be her very C's, he
THINK ENGLAND in 1800 WAS ALL FORMAL DAnCES AND COY REPARTEE? THERE WAS ACTUALLY A TON OF EXTRAMARITAL sex GOING on. And it went right to the top. Onl
in 1501, POPE ALEXANDER VI HELD THE BANQUET OF CHESTNUTS. THE CHESTNUTS weRe BeInG COLLECTED BY 50 nAkeD HOOKERS. But picking up chestnuts off the flo
MOZART WAS A MUsICAL Genilus WITH 600 MASTERPIECES TO HIS nameo And TWO OF HIS songs were ABOUT ASS-LICKING. Lick my ass nicely, lick it nice and cle
AncenT PERUNAN CULTURES HAD A FLAIR FOR POTTERY. ReALLY peRVeRTED POTTeRY. Their pinch pots are a veritable Kama Sutra, with graphic depictions of ana
21 Important Moments in History (That Were Sex-Fests)
AncIENT RoMAns LOVED TO DECORATE WITH A GOOD LUCK CHARM CALLED A FASCNUS. IT WAS A DICK WITH WINGS. The winged dongs were symbols of protection agains
in 1904, BRITAIN AND FRAnCE SIGNeD THE entente CORDIALE ending 1,O00 YEARS OF AnimosItYo And ALL BECAuSE EDWARD VII LIKED FRENCH PROSTITUTES. Bertie's
FOR 4 CENTURIES, Anyone enTeRING MILAN HAD TO WALKBENEATH THE PORTA TOSA. IT'S A BAS ReLIeF OF A woMan SHAVING HeR puBIC HAIR. Numerous stories specul
SIR RICHARD FRANCIS BURTON WAS An ADVENTURER on PAR WITH INDIANA JoneS. AMA SUn HE ALSO BROUGHT THE KAMA SUtRA TO BRITAIN. In addition to swashbucklin
ALBERT EINStein IS THE Most FAmous scIenTIST on THE PLANET. He WAS ALSO A Huge HORNDOG. Even though he was married twice (once to his cousin), he chea
JAmes JOYCE'S ULYSSES IS consiDered THE EPITOME OF MODERNISt LITERATURE. HIS LETTERS TO HIS WIFE were THE ePIToME OF FART FETISHISM. Seriously. His le
THE congreSS OF venna WAS An IMPORTANT GATHERING OF EUROPEAN LEADERS. THERE WAS ALSO So MUCH sex. The conference was a nine-month summit in 1814, upon
WILLIAm DicKSON IS THE INVeNTOR OF THE Motion PIGTURE CAMERA OLD TIME MOVIES us And HE invented THE PORnO FLICK. Dickson used a Mutoscope to create a
THE BIBLE IS A SACRED TEXT FULL OF CHASTE Lessons AND PIETY. THERE'S ALSO A LOT OF FREAKY sex. Lot's daughters seduce their own father. Jacob sleeps w

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