If Movie Poster Taglines Were Honest

We've taken it upon ourselves to make movie posters useful.
If Movie Poster Taglines Were Honest

Movie posters are OK, we guess. More accurately, they're OK for about five seconds, because rarely do they ever tell us anything useful about the film we're paying a large pizza's worth of cash to see.

Which is why we edited the following posters for accuracy. Hopefully we'll save you some pizza money.

CRACKED.COM LIAM NE ES 0 N A MAN STARVES WOLVES THE GREY RUUNC FIG NEIN RETTENENT ISITFEE JIPAERWTT EOIMTRINT IIS EAPOHANAM PAMNEST TEGOE FIAV EPT MRG
CRACKEDOON Owen Jennifer WILSON ANISTON Marley & Me Dog poops on a beach and owner kills him.
SANTA KIDNAPS A BABY AND NO ONE CARES. CRACKEDCON
OF URIOUS THE A bold plan gets destroyed by bald men. CRACKEDOOT APRIL 14 IN THEATERS AND IMVAX
THE SEVERAL COPS HAVE THEIR THOUGHTS EXPOSED. PAFTOA h THE DEPARTED CRACKED.COM
RAQUEL WELCH POSTER GIVES MUCH-NEEDED RELEASE TO LONELY NERD TIM ROBBINS MORGAN FRYE E M A N THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION CASTLE ROCK ENTERTAINMENTr AFRAN
If Movie Poster Taglines Were Honest
CRACKEDCON DALrDisney ATR PICTURES PRESENTS BUD K KID GETS BENCHED FOR A DOG.
Bill M u  r  r  ay An immortal demigod becomes a kick-ass jazz pianist. Groundhog Day 2 3 4 COLUMBLA PICTURES PRESENTS ATREVOR ALBERT HAROLD FILM BILL
Man who commits identity theft for teaching job still trusted with kids. SchoolorRock CRACKED COM
A hot guy from a few towns over shows back up after ghosting his girlfriend. MARVEL THOR THE DARK WORLD 11.8.13 MARVEL FACEBOOK.COM/THOR MARIVEL
CRACKED TOM HANKS Trusted FedEx employee decides to open everyone's mail. TESa1 CAST AWAY At the edge of the world. his journey begins. TVENTIETH CENT
CRACKED.COM An android with ulterior motives spikes the champagne, which leads to a squid baby and other fun stuff. FROM THE DIRECTOR OF ALIEN AND GLA
CRACKED.COM twilight AN ELDERLY MAN TAKES ADVANTAGE OF A TROUBLED TEENAGE GIRL
THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER GRAND RAND THEFT HEFT AuTo THE SUBMARINE EDITION! CRACKED COM
CHRIS ROBERT SCARLETT SERASTIAN JERENY DON ANTHONY PAUL ELIZABETH DANIEL EVANS DOWNEY JR. JOHANSSON STAN RENNER CHEIDLE MACKIE BETTANY OLSEN BRIHL MAR
REMEMBERS ALwAYs A MAN REMEMBER. CAN'T HE THAT MEMAEATO Felol) am sedtun (o.dal foown) PANTOLIANO JOE forrca selection MOSs fepiw) dechie Corficin CAR
TOM HANKS An aging prison guard lets an inmate treat his bladder infection. THE GREENIMILE From the Director of The Shawshank Redemption STLEAOTENERN
JOE RALPH MARISA FRED PESCI MACCHIO TOMEI GWYNNE A JONATHAN LYNN FILM MY COUSIN VINNY CRACKED.COM Lawyer accidentally threatens to rape his client
RUSSELL CROWE RYAN GOSLING the nuca guys YOU BROKE MY ARM! WE SHOULD TEAM UP! THIS SUMMER ITheNicec
GRAGKEDOON CRIMINAL LOSES FIGHT ROCKY ROBERT CHARTOFE .IRWIN WINKLER- JOHN G. AVILOSEN STARRNG AND SYIVESIER SIALLONE TAA SHIRE. BURT YOUNG CARL WEAT
TERRORIST RADICALIZES YOUNG FOR BRITISH V/ENDETIIA MARCH WOMAN. ViorVendetto. 2006 com CRACKED.COM
WALT DISNEY'S HY POFPINS JULIE ANDREWS DICK VAN DYKE A magic nanny convinces a mother of 2 to give up on women's suffrage. CRACKEDOON
No really. They are turtles. TEENACE MUTANT NINJA TURTLE5 AUGUST 8 IN THEATRES AND reald CRACKED.COM
CRACKEDCO A MAN DESERTS HIS KIDS DURING NATURAL DISASTER FROM THE DIRECTOR OF THE DARK KNIGHT TRILOGY AND INCEPTION NTERSTELLAR IN THEATRES AND IMAX E
THE MOST BADASS SUICIDE EVER! GRA WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY RIAN JOHNSON LOOPER
CRACKED.COM ARE YOU WATCHING CLOSELY? NIKOLA TESLa soLVES wOrLd HunGer... ...BUT Becomes a magican inscead. THEPRESTIGE OCTOBER 20 HUGHJACKMANCHRISTIA
MELGIBSON A highly advanced race of aliens does not do enough research. M'. NIGHT ISHYAMALAN'S si s ENTSTE nr SIALKS HON 326 2 11-
Technically there is a consensual necrophilia scene KATE BECKINSALE SCOTT SPEEDMAN UNDERWORLD EVOLUTION IN THEATERS JANUARY 2006 EnterTheUnderworld.co
PLANTS COORDINATE WORLDWIDE BIOWARFARE THE HAPPENING
tah AFFENE AROUSAL EKCITEMENT ALARM AST DISTRESS PAS RAGET RICS HATI RAGE EXETEREENEE RIS TEINE S IFURY ER PSSON AR AROUSALP RIE ANSYT DIST WE ITESS C
CRACKED.COM PiIGRIM I THE WORLD vS. S hi Hipster Kills Seven People For Girl He Just Met
Bickering one-percenters derail public mass transit. stw BC880 BALE CAINE NEESON HOLMES OLDMAN FREEMANG BATMAN BEGINS BSATO US TNELI SM T0010 JUNE 17
THEY FIGHT UNTIL THEIR MOMS MAKE THEM STOP #WHOWILLWIN 3.25.16
CRACKED.CO BRAD PITT EDWARD NORTON A DAVID FINCHER FILM I A DOMESTIC TERRORIST ATTEMPTS SUICIDE.
Same Sh*t Different Room CRACKEDGOM SALVI
If Movie Poster Taglines Were Honest
RYAN GOSLING EMMA STONE LA LA LAND ESONTUE DIBECTO O WIS A Very Long Glee Episode
A food critic's life flashes before his eyes after eating something a rat touched. DisneY PIXAR RATATOUILLE (rata.tuy)
Billionaire forces teenage boy to undress on city rooftop. 11061 7.7.2017 SAS etatsounie CRACKED.COM
CRACKED.COM RESPONSIBLE, CARING FATHER TRIES TO KEEP HIS FAMILY TOGETHER AT ANY COST FROM MAD MASTERNINO BEORGE MILLER TOM HARDY CHARLIZE THERON R R A
A GUY GRIEVES THE LOSS OF HIS PET AND KILLS A LOT OF PEOPLE JOHN WICK A GUY IS HAPPY TO HAVE A NEW PET AND KILLS A LOT OF PEOPLE CHAPTER JOHN WICK
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