Born to Hungarian waffle makers and raised by rabid weasels young bilbo1 was trouble from the start. He was expelled from Mrs. Engelbretson's Fourth Grade class after accusing the class goldfish of being unfaithful and piledriving it through his school desk. He never returned to school after that day, always mumbling about "that shiny whore" whenever the subject was broached. He later acqured a job as a monkey trainer despite an utter lack of experience based solely on his argument that "monkeys totally freakin' rule." Several pie fights and a case of monkey cirrhosis later he lost that job as well. He has since been wandering aimlessly. A homeless vagrant with a penchant for talking about himself in the third person.
