Choose Your Drug-Fueled Misadventure: Best Death Ever

... if you choose wisely. If not you get a bunch of really embarassing ones.
Choose Your Drug-Fueled Misadventure: Best Death Ever

This week, fellow Cracked.com columnist Brockway has agreed to swap his best-known satirical creation with mine. For comedy writers, this is a lot like giving each other's women breast exams: awesome and medically revealing. Can Brockway's testicles withstand the man-pounding action of my Man Comics? Can my brain withstand the psychological trap door of his Choose Your Own Drug-Fueled Adventures? Will our stupider readers be helplessly confused and send us the wrong death threats? Let's find out:

A CRACKED BOOK BROCKWAY'S CHOOSE YOUR OWN DRUG-FUELED ADVENTURE 8 ee YOU'RE FUCKING DRUNK! YOUR BESTFRIEND ROBOT & OF DEATH BY SEANBABY ORM oe Ouses G
WARNING!!! Do not read this book straight from stal- whoa, you are way too drunk to be reading. Look for these other books in the series! ACRACKED BOO
1 You wake to the sound of a robot telling you it loves you. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. You don't recognize the huge woman next to you, but one glance
2 YOU HAVE CHOSEN' TO Ask the robot what made him! Pal-Bot silently studies you with his blank face for 20 seconds. For robot, this is an eternity. Su
3 YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO Ask the robot to fuck. MY FLATTERY SENSORS ARE OVERLOADING. HOWEVER, EACH OF MY ORIFICES LEADS DIRECILY TO A TOXIC ENERGY CORE.
Choose Your Drug-Fueled Misadventure: Best Death Ever
5 YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO Go out hard. You kick yourself out ofbed and clasp your hand in Pal-Bot's iron claw. His rock and roll circuits automatically ini
6 YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO Enter the Chamber of Spectacular Death It might be a side effect of -Bot's seeping radiation. but as soon as you open the door, y
7 YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO Be reasonable. Youlook around the disgusting room for safe way out. There's a got to be one. I mean, you're not quite sure how yo
8 AIRWOLF MEETS ME By TheAdventure Master Army captain Stringfellow Hawke brings Airwolfin for a perfect landing in its top secret bunker. His penised
9 YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO Put on the blindfold and rollerskates. Haha, seriously? Awesome. Youlace up your skates and cover your eyes with the blindfold. P
10 YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO Refuse the blindfold and rollerskates. That makes sense. Ifyou're going to murder yourself spectacularly, you might as well be a
11 YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO Crap in your pants. Your bowels painfully evacuate into your pants as if you've been eating nails and then fucked with the wrong
12 YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO Fall into the time portal. You flail helplessly as you drop into the swirling Vortex. Voices laugh at you from every direction a
Choose Your Drug-Fueled Misadventure: Best Death Ever
14 YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO Jump! You are blind! Speeding! You don't know why, but something inside you says to... JUMP! You take offinto the air, where som
15 YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO Duck! You are rollerskating at speeds beyond reason! Despite the danger, you are having more trouble containing your smile than
Choose Your Drug-Fueled Misadventure: Best Death Ever
17 YOU HAVE CHOSEN T Climb on the missile. Pal-Bo the missile sees only a moment after you. OH, SHIT he says as you climb on. I LOve YOU. You look
Check out Brockway's Seanbaby's Man Comics.

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