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![Smokey The Bear: A Terrifying Origin Story [COMIC]](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/3/8/7/32387.jpg?v=1)
Smokey The Bear: A Terrifying Origin Story [COMIC]
For over fifty years, Smokey Bear has spread the message of forest fire safety. And every step of the way, a raccoon named Specs was there to make puns about it, to drop birthday cakes, to start stampedes, to trap everyone in caves and to of course start many, many forest fires. For some reason, Smokey Bear never did a damn thing about it.
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- By Seanbaby
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0 The 5 Weirdest Drug Experiments Performed on Animals
Why let animals enjoy a natural buzz, when science is more than willing to step in and take that high to new hilarious, bizarre, kind of mean-spirited heights?
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- By Robert Brockway
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9 Ways to Get Rid of Bed Bugs
These tiny little blood-suckers which lurk in mattresses and bedding have been spotted in massive numbers in recent years, and if you aren't waking up every morning covered in swollen little bite marks, then frankly, you aren't shit.
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- By Chris Bucholz
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5 Mediocre Movies Made Awesome by Real Events
Like competitive siblings born to a critical mother, Life and Art have never really gotten along that well.
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- By Soren Bowie
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How to Talk to Women (According to the Internet)
I don't want to toot my own massive genitals or anything, but I'm somewhere between an expert and a space doctor when it comes to Talking at Women.
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- By Daniel O'Brien
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What Are Your Top 5 Crime Scene Albums?
You've just murdered someone and you're allowed to drop five CDs. What are they going to be?
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- By Seanbaby
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5 Bad Economic Indicators for the Criminally Insane
personally, I always thought 'economy' was a virtually windowless van manufactured by the Ford Company. It seemed a little odd when people got excited at the prospect of it 'turning around,' but I just figured they were rape fans.
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- By Robert Brockway
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A Series of Wild Guesses About Where 'The Event' Is Going
There's a problem with NBC's formula: by basing a show around a single secret, interest will inevitably deflate and grow floppy once that secret is revealed.
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- By Chris Bucholz
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The Difficulties of Caring for a New (Kidnapped) Baby
I had to finish a groundbreaking piece for 'Women's Home Journal' entitled '7 Best Ways to Breastfeed!' I have unearthed four, (five assuming 'under some stairs' counts as an idea).
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- By Soren Bowie
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The Logical Next Step In Literary Horror Mash-Ups
Even though it's a seemingly-lazy gimmick, plopping monsters into books that previously did not have monsters in them became quite the rage.
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- By Cody Johnston
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What Andrew WK's Twitter Taught Me About Life
You will never love anything as much as Andrew WK loves partying.
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- By Daniel O'Brien
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Choose Your Drug-Fueled Misadventure: Best Death Ever
... if you choose wisely. If not you get a bunch of really embarassing ones.
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- By Seanbaby
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If Old School Comics Were Written For (And By) Drunk People
The Flash is twice as entertaining when drunk.
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- By Robert Brockway
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How to Act: A Guide for the Untalented
For each of us willing to nurture these skills and pursue the passion wholeheartedly, success waits with open arms. For anyone who thinks that sounds like a lot of work, there is acting.
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- By Soren Bowie
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What The Snazzy Napper Is Really For
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- By Cody Johnston
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