This Far-Right March Wandered Into A Parade of Naked Bikers
Remember how, weeks ago, you couldn't pull up Twitter without someone making a joke about "the most ambitious crossover event in history"? Luke Skywalker on The Muppet Show? The most ambitious crossover event in history. Scooby-Doo playing for the Harlem Globetrotters? The most ambitious crossover event in history. Donald Trump appearing in a McDonald's ad alongside Grimace? The most ambitious crossover ev- you get the idea.
We're a little late to the meme party, but we think we've unearthed a new contender for the title. A far-right rally wound up sharing sidewalk space with a buttload of naked cyclists in London.
The rally was protesting the imprisonment of Tommy Robinson, a far-right figurehead who was jailed last month for breaking a court-ordered media blackout by reporting on a child grooming trial -- a media blackout intended to stop right-wingers and other lunatics from disrupting proceedings and allowing the bad guy to walk free (which he nearly did). Robinson was subsequently arrested and, after pleading guilty, sentenced to 13 months of prison porridge.
His followers soon started a movement, "Free Tommy," campaigning for his release on the grounds that he was being politically persecuted, with one common refrain being that the police should be spending more time arresting the vague concept of "Muslim gangs." Y'know ... because they're violent thugs who don't follow the laws of the land. When asked if they'd ever stopped to consider the irony of this, his followers responded by asking whether irony was the thing that their crosses were made of.
The naked cyclists, meanwhile, were part of the World Naked Bike Ride, an annual event wherein thousands of people flood the streets to "protest against the global dependency on oil, curb car culture, obtain real rights for cyclists, demonstrate the vulnerability of cyclists on city streets and celebrate body freedom." It's a valiant crusade and they deserve your support -- if not for the cause, then because they're spending today resting their chafed-as-hell junk in a bathtub of soothing balm.
After traveling through London on separate routes, the groups simultaneously converged, as if guided by divine providence, on Westminster Bridge -- aka the one with all the phallic imagery. It must have been a really confusing sight for passersby, who likely thought that "Tommy Robinson" was a euphemism for "penis."
They wouldn't have been wrong.
Adam Wears is on Twitter and Facebook! He also has a newsletter about depressing history, but that's only for the coolest kids.
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