14 More of the Most Unintentionally Gay Rap Lyrics Ever
As we chronicled in our previous installment, context can be everything when talking about song lyrics. It's easy to pull one line from a homophobic tough-guy gangsta rapper that, on its own, makes him sound ravenously gay.
So let's do that now.
Canibus - "Second Round K.O."
The Lyric:
"You might got more cash than me, but you ain't got the skills to eat a nigga's ass like me."
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What He's Probably Saying: "Despite what your extravagant wealth may imply, I am, in fact, the more superior rapper and can destroy the ego of any opponent." |
What We Like To Think He's Saying: "You might be rich, but you will never toss a salad the way I do." |
Ice-T - "99 Problems"
The Lyric:
"I got a bitch who's a man"
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What He's Probably Saying: "That dude is a bitch!" |
What We Like To Think He's Saying: "That dude is my transvestite girlfriend!" |
Mac Dre - "Back N Da Hood"
The Lyric:
"I need some cock hella bad, I need to be free. Steady dreaming about wrecking guts and cock. Laying on my bunk busting nuts in socks."
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What He's Probably Saying: "You know what sucks? Being in jail. I need to get out of here. Seriously, I need some pussy. I dream about it every night. Whoa, don't put that sock on!" |
What We Like To Think He's Saying: "Jail is lonely as shit. I just sit around beating off and wishing I was free. Maybe I'll feel better if I get some dick." |
Sheek Louch - "Good Love"
The Lyric:
"Now I'm in the club, no V.I.P.
I'm down low where every last hoodlum be
I feel baby boy tryin to ice grill me
Walk up to him, you know nice and polite
Let him now it's real, lift the shirt up light
I'ma let it off cause I ain't tryin to fight"
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What He's Probably Saying: "So I'm in the club, right? And I mean in the club, not up in V.I.P. or some weak stuff like that. Anyway, I'm walking around and I see this dude eying me. So I walk over to him, and I'm all, 'Hello sir, I'm not here for fisticuffs, but I will shoot you. With my gun.'" |
What We Like To Think He's Saying: "So I'm in the club. I'm on the down low... I think you know what I mean. Anyway, I see this guy checking me out. So I walk over to him, but I'm kind of shy around dudes. I didn't really know what to say so I just sorted lifted my shirt up and showed him my abs. He seemed offended so I'm like, 'Relax, I don't want to fight, I'm just hoping to let one off. On your chest or face, if possible.'" |
N.E.R.D. - "Rockstar"
The Lyric:
"Guess you ain't heard that we swallow guys."
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What He's Probably Saying: "You may not know this, but we're very monster-like in the way we approach confrontation." |
What We Like To Think He's Saying: "In case you haven't heard, we swallow, guys." |
N.E.R.D. - "Lap Dance"
The Lyric:
"I dare a motherfucker to come in my face."
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What He's Probably Saying: "Seriously, I wish a motherfucker would step in my face. They'll get knocked the fuck out." |
What We Like To Think He's Saying: "Go ahead, blow that hot load in my face. I dare you!" |
Ghostface Killah featuring Jadakiss - "Run"
The Lyric:
Jadakiss: I might gotta take my shirt off
Ghostface: Yeah, kid
Jadakiss: I like that one
Ghostface: Uh-huh, go in, go in
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What They're Probably Saying: Jadakiss: I'm very excited right now. So much so that I may even take my shirt off. |
What We Like To Think They're Saying: Jadakiss: I'm getting really hot right now. I should probably take my shirt off. |
Beenie Man - "Who Am I (Sim Simma)"
The Lyric:
"How can I make love to a fellow?"
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What He's Probably Saying: "Me? Bang a guy? Preposterous!" |
What We Like To Think He's Saying: "What do I have to do to get this dude to put out?" |
T.I. - "Get Loose"
The Lyric:
"Takin cum in the face, yeah I like it like that"
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What He's Probably Saying: "My dearest love, the way you let me blow my load in your face warms my heart." |
What We Like To Think He's Saying: "You know what I like? Jizz. Right in my face. There, I said it." |
Richie Rich - "Smoke Weed All Day"
The Lyric:
"I know it hurts, to find out me and your man be sharin' skirts"
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What He's Probably Saying: "Hey, me and your boyfriend have been nailing the same chicks lately. And none of them are you." |
What We Like To Think He's Saying: "This skirt I'm wearing? I borrowed it from your boyfriend. Wait, why are you crying?" |
DMX - "Party Up"
The Lyric:
"All your mens up in the jail before sucked my dick"
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What He's Probably Saying: "When I was in jail, all your friends sucked my dick." |
What We Like To Think He's Saying: "When I was in jail, all your friends sucked my dick. Arf! Arf!" |
Big Pun - "You Ain't a Killer"
The Lyric:
"When you awaken your manhood'll be taken."
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What He's Probably Saying: "I'm going to kill you. But I'm going to wait for you to wake up first. I prefer a challenge." |
What We Like To Think He's Saying: "Dude, watching you sleep makes me hot. When you wake up, we're having some prison sex." |
AZ featuring Nas - "The Essence"
The Lyric:
"Let's do it again, a beautiful blend"
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What He's Probably Saying: "We've made some great songs in the past. Perhaps we should consider doing that again sometime." |
What We Like To Think He's Saying: "We're a really great couple, let's have some more sex." |
Lil' Wayne - "Holla At Me Baby"
The Lyric:
"It's Weezy fucking baby."
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What He's Probably Saying: "My name is Weezy Baby. No, Weezy FUCKING Baby!" |
What We Like To Think He's Saying: "Hi, I'm Weezy. What am I doing? Fucking Baby. He's the head of my record label." |
Adam hosts a podcast called Unpopular Opinion that you should check out right here. You should also be his friend on Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr.
For more lyrical ingenuity, check out The 10 Least Romantic Love Song Lyrics and The 10 Dumbest Questions in Song Lyric History.
And visit Cracked.com's Top Picks or we'll prison rape you, straight up. And we say that because we're fucking hard, not gay.
