Yogurt Pepsi: 14 Horrifying Soft Drinks Around the World

14 Yogurt-Flavored Pepsi

Also Known As:

Pepsi White.

If you've ever gotten the urge to stir some yogurt into your Pepsi, well, you're lucky to be alive because we're pretty sure that shit will make your stomach explode. Or maybe just turn into a super-powerful acid that eats you from the inside out (we aren't chemists). At best you'll wind up giving everyone the impression that you've ejaculated into your Pepsi.

So who would think to combine those two things and sell them commercially? Japan. Pepsi White emerged there last October just in time for their line of winter products. Because nothing screams "winter" like yogurt. Because it's white. Also, it's the first Pepsi beverage that might curdle on a hot summer day.

Only in Japan could Ice Cucumber flavor be the second weirdest Pepsi product on the market.

13 Celery Soda

Also Known As:

Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray.

Not just some kooky novelty beverage, Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray is a drink extracted from celery seeds that has been around since the 18-freaking-60s. We'd imagine the ads featured guys cracking open a cold can and rubbing it across their sweaty forehead after leaving the Civil War battlefield.

Since then, Cel-Ray has became a common item in the city of New York, and in Jewish delicatessens here and there, having totally captured the market in celery-flavored soda that, for some strange reason, no other beverage maker has even bothered to enter in a century and a half.

12 Kimchi Drink

Also Known As:

Coolpis Kimchee Drink.

Whether or not you felt a tinge of nausea at the name of this product depends entirely on whether or not you know what kimchi is.

Kimchi is a traditional Korean side dish composed mainly of fermented spicy cabbage. The Kimchee Drink is the packaged, cloudy juice left from the fermentation process.

Now it's one thing to enjoy kimchi, which is probably an acquired taste but, hey, lots of Koreans love it. But the shit that's left behind in the tank after they've fished the food out? It's like McDonald's trying to sell us cups of used french fry oil. Just throw it away, you greedy bastards.

11 Garlic Drink

Also Known As:

Tamla Village's Maneul Saem.

Hey, you know how when you eat just a little bit of garlic your breath smells like it for eight hours afterward? And how you can't get the garlic smell off your hands for a solid week if you handle some?

Well, in South Korea they've got whole bottles of garlic juice you can chug on a hot day. Perfect refreshment when you're on a date with a girl you despise. Also, works as a Molotov cocktail when thrown at a vampire!

Also available in onion.

10 "Become Bigger!" Breast Enlarging Beverage

Also Known As:

Okkikunare.

Oh, hey, Japan's back. And with a brand of breast-enlarging soft drink.

And no, this is not some subtle thing like Enzyte's "male enhancement" nod and wink ad campaign. Okkikunare literally means "become bigger!" The boob enlargement thing is front and center. The ingredient that was supposed to bring forth a new glorious era for Japanese men, and a slightly more back pain for the women, is powdered arrowroot.

Unfortunately, actual scientific studies with a barrel of it and 20 brave female scientists proved that arrowroot does nothing for breast enhancement (clearly if such a substance existed, mankind would have discovered it about, oh, 10,000 years ago).

And while any country could get caught selling a boob-enhancing formula here and there, only Japan would stick a drawing of a toddler on the label.

9 Cannabis Drink (for Kids!)

Also Known As:

Swiss Cannabis Drink.

Switzerland has apparently produced several varieties of this stuff, which manufacturers claim is made from hemp resin but has no THC (the stuff that gets you high). We're assuming that kind of defeats the point for their target customers, especially considering the can above promises you'll "get the magic power" of hemp seeds.

In a bold move to help speed up the awareness of all these products, cans of the stuff turned up in the United Kingdom when a cafe started handing it out to school children at an event. That went over about as well as you'd expect.

8 Liquid Cheese

Also Known As:

NEEDS Cheese Drink.

And back to Japan.

Produced by the NEEDS cheese factory in Hokkaido, the NEEDS liquid cheese drink comes in three flavors: Berry, Yuzu Citrus and Plain. But don't worry, special steps had been taken to cut down on their natural sweetness, securing you a naturally salty cheese sensation throughout the entire drink. Use it to wash down a nice bowl of cheese soup and a fondue.

The liquid cheese beverage has reportedly been produced to raise awareness of cheese in that country. Instead of showing everyone a delicious melty slice of pizza, they gave them this. The manufacturers note that like most refreshing beverages, the drink "... is also good as a salad dressing."

7 Fungus Tea

Also Known As:

Kombucha.

The history of the Kombucha reaches as far as the Chinese Qin dynasty (that's 250 BC, folks). The Chinese even called it "The Immortal Health Elixir."

And what is "it"? Why, tea fermented with microorganisms called a "kombucha colony." Which is a fancy way of saying there's a big, slimy wad of fungus in your tea. The Fungus Brew can be bought off the shelf but it's also often home made (intentionally in China, and by accident at the bottom of gym lockers everywhere else).

6 Curry Lemonade

Also Known As:

Curry Ramune.

OK, no more from Japan after this.

We have to tell you, what really sells this carbonated curry drink from Japan is the freaking label. The text next to the name says: "A miraculous collaboration of curry and lemonade" and above that, the drink proudly exclaims "Even Indian people will be surprised."

Indian people may be surprised, but it will probably have more to do with the little racist picture of an Indian stereotype with the turban and the thick mustache.

5 Egg Soda

Also Known As:

Soda sua hot ga.

Help us pinpoint when exactly the recipe for this drink goes from interesting to bizarre: You take some sweetened condensed milk and a raw egg, you combine the yolk with the milk... and then you add club soda, mix well, drink and don't tell anyone about it. Congrats, you just made your first egg soda, a drink popular with Vietnamese people of questionable sanity.

If you think about it, it's kind of like they took the traditional (and disgusting in its own right) Egg Cream New Yorkers enjoy and, when trying to recreate the recipe, forgot that there wasn't supposed to be an actual raw goddamned egg in there.

4 Hentai Tentacle Rape Soda

Also Known As:

Tentacle Grape.

Yes, we realize the makers of Tentacle Grape soda are in fact fucking with us. This is not produced in Japan but in California, and yes, the product does appear to actually exist.

If you're new to the Internet, the name is a pun based on "Tentacle Rape," the staple of Japanese anime porn where they have tentacled monsters doing the raping since censors won't allow them to portray a penis on screen. So the fact that their wacky joke-soda relies on violent rape fantasies for their pun earns them a spot on the list and more free publicity.

3 Eel Soda

Also Known As:

Unagi Nobori.

The "Surging Eel" fizzy pop is a carbonated yellow liquid containing extracts of eel head and bones, which can be bought in- oh... OK, we did have one more Japanese entry on here.

It's produced by the Japanese Tobacco Company, as a beverage "mainly for men who are exhausted by the summer's heat." Not one part of this sentence made any sense. Why men? Why only if they're exhaustion is caused by summer heat? We do realize that the eel is a delicacy in Japan, but bottling and selling it as a soft drink just makes us think of that old Saturday Night Live episode where Dan Aykroyd ground up a bass in a blender.

2 Thanksgiving Dinner Soda

Also Known As:

Jones Limited Edition Soda.

The good ol' USA earned another spot on this list when, in 2003, quirky beverage makers Jones Soda released a Turkey & Gravy flavor for the holiday season. It sold out in two hours, with each bottle sold to a college kid who wanted to show it to people and say, "Can you believe this shit?!"

In 2004, they extended their offer to an entire Holiday Pack: Turkey&Gravy, Green Bean Casserole, Cranberry and Mashed Potatoes with Butter. All soda. All horrifying. It sold out in less than an hour.

Over the years the company has also produced such soda flavors as: Wild Herb Stuffing, Pumpkin Pie, Brussels sprout, Sweet Potato, Dinner Roll, Pea and Salmon, in an attempt to cash in on a market segment fueled entirely by irony.

We like irony, but not as much as we hate not knowing whether to put our soda in the fridge or the oven.

1 Placenta Drink

Also Known As:

Placenta 400000.

There was apparently a time in one man's life when he looked at a bunch of pig placenta and said "You know what? I bet people would pay good money to drink this shit." It was probably just minutes before he took to the dark streets to start making his suit of human skin.

The inventor of the Placenta Drink kept the serial killer profilers off his scent long enough to bring this new Japanese (damn it) health drink to market. Available as peach flavored "Placenta 100000" Jelly Drink (with over 10,000 mg of the secret ingredient), or the... naturally tasting extract, Placenta 400000, the drink claims various beauty benefits thanks to the magical powers of pig placenta. The 400000 in the name, we assume, represents the number of hours you will spend huddled over a toilet, trying to forget you ever drank this shit. Which will no doubt contribute to a slim new physique!

Why does Japan have so many bizarre drinks? Check out Bukkake of the Gods: Japan's Insane Creation Myths and that might give some insight into the country. Or find out about some places where you establishments where you could order these delectable treats, in The 8 Most Terrifying Restaurants from Around the World.

And when you've finished cleaning the puke stains from your clothes, feel free to visit Cracked.com's Top Picks to see some good ole fashion boobies (that are probably fake).