When Politicians Attack: The 17 Most Violent Political Brawls
Remember the presidential debates a while back? Remember how much better they would have been if Joe Biden had ripped a microphone off its stand and started beating Sarah Palin with it? Fortunately, that sort of thing goes on everyday. And there are cameras to record it.
Fortunately, that sort of thing goes on everyday. And there are cameras to record it.
Shaolin Senator
We have no background on this awesome clip other than the fact that the commenters insist it's from Korea (and the day we can't trust the info we get from YouTube commenters is the day we retire from the Internet). What we do know is it appears to be a magical place we only thought existed in Kung Fu movies, where any dispute in any setting can turn into an acrobatic display of lethal hands and feet.
That is what democracy is about, and we're not even joking. If you don't believe in an issue strongly enough to backflip anybody who disagrees, then why bother?
Best YouTube Comment:
"Probably, as long as one of those Constitution burning, ACLU whores dies, I'll be happy."
That comment doesn't get any better in context, so we'll just leave as is.
Nigerian Legislators Try to Get Rid of Their Reputation for Corruption (by Punching Each Other in the Face)
You know what emerging, fragile democracies like Nigeria need more of? Self righteous, childish politicos.
The Reuters reporter pretty much explains this clip, but here's a condensed version: "Nigerian politician promises to stop politicians stealing money. Nigerian politician steals money, other politicians fight like retards." In fact, you can pretty much use that description for all political news.
Best YouTube Comment:
"I like this!!! It is funny and at least this is all part of 'demoCRAZY', demonstration of CRAZE, CRAZYdemonstration!!!"
As a general rule, three exclamation marks is too many.
Mexican Politicians Descend Into Childish Chanting (There's a Guy at the End of This Who Puts a Chair on a Desk for No Reason).
The two sides in this fight are those who support a new road and those who oppose it. Mexican's take their roads pretty seriously.
Best YouTube Comment:
Sky News disabled comments for this video, so we're left to speculate on what the YouTube community would have posted. Something mind-bogglingly racist we're guessing.
Confusion Arises Over Which Somali Politician Should be the Chairman
Somali Members of Parliament (MP) fighting after a debate in the parliament-in-exile in Kenya on whether an African peace keeping force to be sent to Somalia should include troops from Ethiopia. Or something. To be honest, we're not that sure. It's hard enough keeping up with what's going on in Gaza. Is this what George Clooney's so upset about? Are we for or against it?
Best YouTube Comment:
In amongst a whole load of racist crap is a debate about US offshore drilling policy. One commenter says: "How did video of a parliamentary fight in Somalia turn into an offshore drilling debate?" You are clearly a newcomer to the ways of YouTube videos and the irrelevant, dumbass discussion that takes place underneath them.
Indian Politicians Debate a Civil Rights Bill. Speeches are Made, Voices are Raised, People are Hit in the Face with Microphones.
The movie trailer guy explains what's going on here, leaving us to make snarky comments like "Bloody politicians eh? They're all crooks" and "where can we get one of those orange turbans"?
Best YouTube Comment:
"lol democracy in the U.S. Bolivia has way more participatory and direct democracy. Bolivia!"
Bolivia, yes. Their MPs would never engage in such despicable behaviour.
Bolivian MPs Engage in Despicable Behaviour
You could be forgiven for thinking this is an every-man-for-himself brawl, but there's actually two distinct sides: those who want control of the country's judiciary branch and a group of completely different people, who also want control of the country's judiciary branch. We've no idea whose side the guy with multicoloured poncho is on though. We're not sure he's even supposed to be there.
Best YouTube Comment:
There are two comments in German, which according to Google Translate say, "Rightly so! fickt euch other. The Jews should also propose times," followed by "what are you doing for a asozialer vollidiot! fuck you self in you ass!" Another German says, "My God! Such wrangling because the old cupboard!" While a Polish person says, "And what is it? At the end amount to one of the coffin?"
Google Translate can make anything funny.
The UK Deputy Prime Minister Doesn't Like Eggs. Pies, Sure. Lard, Sure. Eggs, No.
In the UK, the Secret Service is fucking terrible. Luckily, so are assassins.
Best YouTube Comment:
"I'd have loved to have knocked him out for that mullet alone."
Yeah, what was the guy protesting, the end of the 80s?
Bishop Bashes Back
Senator Charles Bishop thumps Democrat Lowell Barron, bringing the State Senate into disrepute. To be fair though, we should probably cut the place some slack; you just need to look at the colors in the room to see how far Alabama has progressed in the last few decades. Look, one of those senators has ginger hair.
Best YouTube Comment:
"Sen. Barron should not have called the good Republican Sen. a SOB. That is an assault on his mother. We take kindly to our mothers in the South."
Followed by: "Yes, the south is famous for its incest."
Followed by: "Actually I'd rather be a republican fucking my sister then a democrat jacking off to a hybrid ad."
Why are those the only choices?
South Korean MP Tries to Make a Phone Call. Fails.
The week before this happened, South Korean prosecutors cleared a candidate for the presidency of financial wrongdoing. Some of these guys want to impeach the prosecutors. Some others don't. Presumably, they considered having a rational debate at some point but decided on a mass brawl instead.
Best YouTube Comment:
"lol some guy was poking people with a stick and they took it."
Nothing to add to this.
South Korea Again.
Ruling party politicians barricaded themselves in the National Assembly building, sparking opposition attempts to gain entry with sledgehammers, chisels and crowbars. This, all over the signing of a Free Trade agreement with the United States. At that point, all fucking Hell breaks loose, as the guys inside pile up furniture against the door and the opposition claws their way through like zombies. Hell yeah!
Best YouTube Comment:
"Wow! That's definitely more exciting than politics in Canada."
Didn't Canada just try to throw out their government? I guess Canadians can make pretty much anything boring.
Georgian MP Gets Wet, Slapped in Face.
What is it with politicians not wearing ties these days? You're professionals not students. Dress the part. Oh, and also, the acting like children thing. You should probably stop that as well.
We couldn't find another source to tell us what exactly happened here, but luckily the video is from Russia Today. So it's completely accurate and trustworthy, then.
Best YouTube Comment:
"ÃÂâÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂScrew themÃÂâÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂ"
Hats off to the guy for managing to get a hammer and sickle into his YouTube comment. A little more ingenuity like that and a little less massive-famines-and-political-systems-that-lend-themselves-to-dictatorships, and Communism might actually work.
Black Guy Assaults Guy from the 80s; Asian Guy Sticks the Boot in
Some sort of fight in the Suriname National Assembly. You've got to feel sorry for the guy without sleeves on his suit. First of all, he hasn't got any sleeves on his suit. Secondly, he thinks he's going to have a fight with the little Asian guy and ends up getting pummelled by the big black guy.
Best YouTube Comment:
To English from Dutch via Google Translate:
"waaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii i hahahahhahahahah Pienda in the Assembly, I am for me a bunch of country Fuckers are Doeki electoral battle, but that was exciting..........hahaahhahahahha "
The YouTube community is like Doctors Without Borders. Except instead of Doctors, retards.
Taiwan's Parliament is Very Progressive - Just Look at How Many Female Politicians They Have (Also: CAT FIGHT!)
See it here. "Punches are thrown, hats are ripped off and hair is pulled." The guy doing commentary could describe two people shaking hands and make it sound like the Battle of the Somme.
Best YouTube Comment:
Here's a summary of the comments:
"lol, fuck you dpp haters. die bitch die... the only reason Britain was successful is because of gunpowder since they were enslaving and opressing people... who do you think is the winner after nuclear wars when all living things are gone and whole planet is toxic?... Taiwanese girls are very horny for westerners'dikes. If you put westerners'dike-heads into their mouths... go screw yourself you american TERRORIST... . Kangaroo fucker... . DEMOCRAZY!!!... Think about it, do you honestly want to bang women like that?... LOL!!"
Who Throws a Shoe? Well, Apart from Iraqi Journalist, Taiwanese Politicians.
A guy in a ridiculous pink shirt decides to make an important political point by having the worst throwing arm imaginable. He must have felt like an idiot walking home:
"Hey, pink shirt, where's your shoe?"
"I threw it at the Speaker of the Legislator."
"And what did that achieve?"
"Uhh..."
Best YouTube Comment:
"DEMOCRAZY!!!"
Seriously, who is this guy?
Taiwan Again.
No one can calm the fury of Lee Mun Chung!
This narrator's got a fantastic grasp of alliteration: "Fights back with flying fists... bruising blow... Taiwanese terrorist... ferocious filibuster." That's just classy voice over work. Real old-school.
Best YouTube Comment:
"My question is: What happened to good old chair throws?"
See above.
Czech Dentist Conferences are Badass
The guy at the podium is the Czech Republic's former Deputy Prime Minister Miroslav Macek, addressing a group of dentists. The guy that tries to walk out with his dignity in tact after being bitch slapped on the back of the head is Health Minister David Rath.
Translated into English, Macek tells the audience that, before discussion begins, he's got a private matter to sort out with Rath, which apparently consists of acting like a 10-year-old.
The best thing about this video is that the conference is sponsored by Ghostbusters.
Best YouTube Comment:
Someone points out that the person who uploaded the video to YouTube tagged it with the words: Czech, fight, minister, health, Rath, Mace, oral, anal, piss, scat, cumshot, sex, erotic, orgasm, best, fun, Pokemon, Power Rangers.
It's like a short story written by the kids from the Village of the Damned.
"Tell Them What I Lied About, Fat Boy."
The hippie in the bad suit is Joe Redner, a candidate in the 2004 election for the Tampa Bay Hillsborough County commission seat. Redner is the founder of Voice of Freedom, a campaign group "dedicated to informing the public of actions by our government that affect our Unalienable Rights to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness, and our Constitutional Guarantees," those Constitutional Guarantees consisting mainly of Joe Redner's right to own strip clubs.
The fat boy is a Republican pundit. The two were discussing violence in the Middle East, a conflict that can have devastating consequences, namely, a chair in the face.
Best YouTube Comment:
"adults are imature."
We like to think that was written by a 10-year-old, wearing a waistcoat with a pocket watch and holding a copy of The New Yorker.
For the next batch of politicians that will likely be throwing fistifcuffs, check out 5 Certifiably Insane Politicians People Still Voted For and The 5 Biggest Pricks in Congress.
And visit Cracked.com's Top Picks because a lot people are bloodied and bruised to decide what sites go on that list.
