WTF!?: The 8 Strangest Communities on the Web
Every once in a while you'll stumble upon a forum or an online community that is so specific, so insane, so completely ridiculous that you are forced to conclude that you have reached the end of the Internet. Sure, you may continue on your merry clicking way, but you do so with the deep-seated feeling that there is nowhere else to look; you have seen everything the Internet could possibly hope to provide. Here are the eight online communities that killed our adventurous spirit, made us sure that we'd seen everything the online world has to offer, and even more certain that we didn't want to try to find anything more depressingly fascinating.
Ice Chewers (icechewing.com)
What it is
A place for people who really, really like to chew ice.
Excerpt that Sums Up the Community In A Nutshell
Subject: Newbie - A Chewer for Almost 10 Years
Hey all,
I randomly found this forum and I think it's comforting, in a way, to see so many people who eat ice as much as I do. I started when I was 14, just crunching on huge cubes straight from the tray. People commented on my strong teeth & jaws. Razz From there I downsized to more manageable-sized cubes, and softer ones, too (like crushed ice). I found ice would/can be a good replacement for crunchy food like chips and pretzels, and I tend to resort to a tall glass of ice after a big meal. My teeth have taken a battering from it (I don't tell my dentist I chomp cubes) but I plan on getting crowns on a few fillings that have chipped away...and then abstaining from ice. It's my only bad habit (don't smoke, don't do drugs, etc) but...it's hard to quit!
Why It Makes Us Uncomfortable
We like ice as much as anyone else, but c'mon. It's ice. Going by Bob Saget's standard for addiction in Half Baked-which states that you must have sucked dick for your coveted good-ice is probably the least addictive thing out there. If you've ever sucked dick for ice, we're pretty sure that means you just really wanted to suck that dick. Just go order a soda. We can almost guarantee you there'll be some ice in there.
It doesn't even really taste like anything, anyway-but don't tell them that.
Men's Long Hair Hyperboard (mlhh.org)
What it is
A "hyperboard" (how old is this site, anyway?) for men to discuss growing, washing, brushing, and wearing long, luxurious locks. Many of the posts take on a defiant tone and mention things like "fighting the good fight," which, we assume, means not getting a haircut.
Excerpt that Sums Up the Community In A Nutshell
Subject: Dry hair - I need your help!
Hello all,
i have a big problem. My hair look shiny and pretty healthy but... when I touch it , it feel darmaticaly DRY ! especialy on the end.
i have tried many things but didn't worked...
here is my routine:
gently brushing my hair before washing it -> baby shampoo (that must'nt be hard wuth hair right ?) -> a lot of conditioner -> cold rinse -> towel dry a bit -> hair dry.
once dry i put a small amount of olive oil in my hair and i gently finger comb and brush my hair gently.
You who have soft hair please help me :(
Why It Makes Us Uncomfortable
There is something just a little off about these guys and their fixation on growing their hair out. To make things worse, they seem to see themselves as waging some sort of imaginary war against a sea of "squares" (read: people who don't rock long hair) who, in all honesty, couldn't care less about these dudes or their immaculately-maintained manes. Plus, does anyone really associate long hair on guys with rebellion anymore? Usually it just means they work at Guitar Center.
What it is
We honestly have no fucking clue. All we know is that it has a lot of weird anime porn on it and everyone who posts on it types in all caps and makes absolutely no sense.
Excerpt that Sums Up the Community In A Nutshell
FirstPostGuy:
SO YEAH, SOMEONE MADE THIS ABOUT ME. DO YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS? NO? THATS RIGHT YOU DON'T. YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT. I MEAN, IT'S SUPPOSED TO INSULT ME BUT LISTEN, THERE IS NO (FUCK I WISH I COULD CAPS LOCK THAT BUT I AM ALREADY IN MAXIMUM CAPS LOCK) SUCH THING AS BAD PUBLICITY. I AM FAMOSE. THAT'S RIGHT. FAMOSE. YOU NOOBS SHOULD ALL TAKE TRIPCODES AND SEE IF YOU CAN BECOME MORE FAMOSE THAN ME. YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU CAN'T. THAT'S RIGHT. BECAUSE I'M THE FUCKING EPIC FIRST POST GUY. I TAKE FIRST POSTS. I TAKE FIRST POSTS SO FAST YOUR MOMMA IS A HOE. TRY BEAT ME, I CHALLENGE YOU. ALSO, FUCK ANONYMOUS. TRIPCODEPWNERERS FTW.
Why It Makes Us Uncomfortable
Apparently pretty much every internet meme ever was started on 4chan, including such gems as the "O RLY?" owl and LOLCats of various shapes and sizes. And that makes us uncomfortable. Why? Because we're pretty sure that being exposed to stuff that was spawned from the incomprehensible gibberish that is 4chan is part of an internet wide conspiracy to make us all stupider.
What it is
A free MMORPG that has no point whatsoever.
Excerpt that Sums Up the Community In A Nutshell
Second Life promotes creativity in its users by encouraging them to build their own items using an in-game programming language, to start businesses by buying land and developing properties on it, to work collaboratively with other players to thrive.
Sounds good in theory, but for some reason the reality of it usually involves a lot more virtual strip clubs, S&M parlors, and casinos. Oh - and a lot more furries.
Why It Makes Us Uncomfortable
Linden Labs, the company that makes Second Life, likes to brag about its membership numbers. In reality, the actual number of active players is always much, much lower than the sum total of all registered users. That means that people create an account, build a house for their in-game avatar to masturbate in, and then they stop playing and never come back. What does that mean for you, the curious, newbie player? It means that walking around Second Life is like walking around in some weird, virtual post-apocalyptic zombie movie, only instead of encountering zombies, you occasionally stumble across some dude dressed up like a mechanical teddy bear having sex with a giant cat.
Juggalo Faith (juggalofaith.com)
What it is
An invaluable resource for that rare handful of folks who are both Insane Clown Posse fans (aka "Juggalos") and God-fearing Christians.
Excerpt that Sums Up the Community In A Nutshell
Our Mission:
JuggaloFaith.com was created for the sole purpose of teaching the message of the carnival. We believe this message is the message of the gospels of Jesus Christ. We believe that Christ died on the cross and suffered for our sins, we believe that he was raised from the dead on the third day, and we believe that he ascended bodily into heaven. We recognize that there is valid teachings in other belief systems but the one and only true path to the father and to heaven (Shangri-La) is Christ and Christ alone. We believe that Christ was born from a virgin mother thus being perfectly human and perfectly God.
Why It Makes Us Uncomfortable
Admittedly, we don't know that much about Insane Clown Posse or the teachings of Jesus Christ, for that matter. But even based on our limited pool of knowledge, we're pretty sure that Jesus never said anything about dressing up like an evil white trash clown. We also don't remember him preaching any sermons entitled Bugz On My Nutz. To be fair, we did skip a lot of Sunday School.
Furrs Fur Christ (furrsfurchrist.com)
What it is
Does your devotion to Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ leave you feeling ostracized from the furry community? Are you beating off to Noah's Ark (aka "The Love Boat") on a regular basis, imagining all those sweaty, furry, engorged genital-having animals locked up in small straw-filled rooms? This, and we're frankly astounded that there even is one, is the place for you.
Excerpt that Sums Up the Community In A Nutshell
...used to be a furvert for a LONG TIME... but recently, I have gone to a christian councelor who helped me through it... It got to the point that I hit rock bottom and I lost all hope. Now, my life has been changed around completely. I have been free from yiff for 6 months and 1week. I have no desire to go back now, but my parents don't understand that. I am going to buy a fursuit soon, just to remind myself about why I never want to go back to the way I was... I proved the furry steriotypes right... I am ashamed, but will not let that stop me. I have God on my side. All I have to do is obey my parents (Honor thy father and mother in the Lord, for this is right) and keep the fur OUTSIDE the house. I hope to get to know EVERYONE here! LOL. I will be on alot. Have a great day!
Why It Makes Us Uncomfortable:
If you really need clarification beyond the above tormented post, just do a Google image search for "yiff" or "furvert" and prepare to claw your own eyes out.
Slash Fan Fiction (slashfanfiction.com)
What it is
When you're watching your favorite TV show, do you often find yourself wishing that the plot would be completely derailed by hardcore pornography? If the answer is yes (which you know it is), then the Slash Fan Fiction community might be just the place for you.
Excerpt that Sums Up the Community In A Nutshell
Spock was pleased that he was able to give his Jim so much pleasure. He knew it was an activity outside of the Vulcan culture, but inside their cabin they were safe--and conjugal privacy was held in high regard by his people.
Why It Makes Us Uncomfortable
You know what's weirder than really wanting to see the stars of your favorite TV shows banging? Sitting down at your computer and describing it in 8,000 words.
Boytaurs (boytaur.net)
What it is
We don't have the slightest idea.
Excerpt that Sums Up the Community In A Nutshell
There's something wildly, almost primally, attractive about a guy with four legs: the crowding of long, sculpted thigh muscle, the four calf muscles bobbing and working in rhythm with his four-legged walk, the four strong male feet supporting his powerful boytaur body. Boytaurs know this attraction well, and it is our constant joy, both to have and to share.
Why It Makes Us Uncomfortable
It doesn't, actually. Several Cracked editors have four legs, and the ones that don't find it wildly, almost primally attractive.
In Conclusion...
The Internet is a big place filled with sweaty, smelly creatures huddling in the dark drinking Mountain Dew and furiously posting on forums. They all smell like Cool Ranch Doritos and, quite frankly, we're terrified of them. What we're trying to say is that this list, although by no means complete, is the best we're willing to do. If we missed a community even stranger than Boytaur.net then, frankly, we're sort of glad. But we welcome you to post a link below. We'll just be a little hesitant to click it.
